CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local publican Blayne Carter (45) has this week decided that selling $5,000 worth of Woodstock Bourbon isn’t worth the cleaning bill that comes with hosting an underground Aussie hip hop event at his enormous Betoota Ponds pub, The Lord Holden.
This comes after Carter was finally persuaded to rent out his function room to a local bedroom rapper by the name of MC NedKelli and his crew of aspiring suburban skip hop renegades.
“Mate, these little fucks have done an absolute number on my bathrooms” says the 3rd-generation publican, walking our reporters through the graffiti damage.
“I reckon every fucken one of them rolled in here with a texta. Look at this shit?”
“I’m used to smart arses writing shit in the cubicles… But usually it’s only funny shit like someone ripping on Ford or Holden”
“It looks like these blokes are writing their fucking WiFi passwords on the wall”
“In the space of four hours they’ve managed to coat my bathrooms in scribble. You can’t even make it where the mirrors are anymore”
The culprits, MC NedKelli and his music producer DJ GOODBUDZ says it’s all part of the game though.
“Shit you want that fire, you gotta deal with that smoke” says the 23-year-old former private school classical violinist, as he rattled off a stream of cliche hip hop references that don’t sound natural with such an overexagerated Aussie accent.
“We put on the illest show last night. Those motherfuckers earned stacks off us”
“Don’t hate the hustle baby. If you know, you know”
However, despite his vow “to never let these little shits near the pub again” – Carter does admit it wasn’t all bad.
On top of the dark spirits sales, the venue’s gaming attendant also reported a 10 grand taking on the pokies.
“Yeah the pokies were a good little sweetener” says Carter.
“Problem is, I’m fairly certain these are proceeds of money laundering”
“Lot of bumbags getting around last night”
MORE TO COME.
