LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Kick-ons participator Haley McKenna (28) ruined her evening by making a mistake she will surely never make again.
During a much needed Saturday night on the piss, McKenna joined her friends for kick-ons in the sort of shady share-house with a suspicious amount of bikes and where everything is broken except for the bowl that holds the chop.
While sitting on an outside couch so rain damaged it looked intentionally distressed, McKenna passed a joint to fellow kicker-of-ons Mateo Kamleh (34) and began making light conversation with the dreadlocked stranger.
“At first I thought he was just a normal guy you see at kick-ons with an alpaca wool hoodie strumming along to every Oasis song that isn’t as mainstream as Wonderwall,” stated McKenna, shakily holding a cup of tea.
“Then, stupidly, I pointed at his tattoo and asked what it meant. After that it all just blends together…”
According to witnesses fortunate enough to not be making eye-contact with Kamleh during the line of tattoo questioning, it was downhill from there as the anti-vaxxer quickly gave a rundown of the millions of times needles penetrated his skin.
“This one was before everyone started getting geometric tattoos, it’s actually for my late sister’s cat,” stated Kamleh as if GQ had stopped by for a tattoo tour.
“And this one, haha – this one…when I first started doing DMT I had this vision and this is kind of an amalgamation of that but with a twist to bring it into the physical realm and reference Pokemon.”
“You’d never know it was a home job hey?”
During Kamleh’s detailed backstories for each of his tattoos, McKenna was forced to sit there nodding hoping someone would rescue her by asking her over or calling the police.
“Luckily for me I started greening out. Anything to get out of that.”
Kick-ons participator Haley McKenna (28) ruined her evening by making a mistake she will surely never make again.
During a much needed Saturday night on the piss, McKenna joined her friends for kick-ons in the sort of shady share-house with a suspicious amount of bikes and where everything is broken except for the bowl that holds the chop.
While sitting on an outside couch so rain damaged it looked intentionally distressed, McKenna passed a joint to fellow kicker-of-ons Mateo Kamleh (34) and began making light conversation with the dreadlocked stranger.
“At first I thought he was just a normal guy you see at kick-ons with an alpaca wool hoodie strumming along to every Oasis song that isn’t as mainstream as Wonderwall,” stated McKenna, shakily holding a cup of tea.
“Then, stupidly, I pointed at his tattoo and asked what it meant. After that it all just blends together…”
According to witnesses fortunate enough to not be making eye-contact with Kamleh during the line of tattoo questioning, it was downhill from there as the anti-vaxxer quickly gave a rundown of the millions of times needles penetrated his skin.
“This one was before everyone started getting geometric tattoos, it’s actually for my late sister’s cat,” stated Kamleh as if GQ had stopped by for a tattoo tour.
“And this one, haha – this one…when I first started doing DMT I had this vision and this is kind of an amalgamation of that but with a twist to bring it into the physical realm and reference Pokemon.”
“You’d never know it was a home job hey?”
During Kamleh’s detailed backstories for each of his tattoos, McKenna was forced to sit there nodding hoping someone would rescue her by asking her over or calling the police.
“Luckily for me I started greening out. Anything to get out of that.”
