CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After just under a month of missing flights, losing her keys and pointlessly fighting with her mum and sisters, Betoota Grove woman Mia Dotty (26) is officially back to normal.
This comes as a relief to her boyfriend, who is looking forward to a bit more accountability on Mia’s end.
“I know there’ll never be a time when there isn’t some form of Astrology being trotted out to explain how Mia is able to lock herself outside of the house with a flat phone battery for four hours while I’m at work…”
“But Mercury Retrogade is a bit too much, even for me – and I’m an Aries! By far the most gullible”
When the planet nearest to the sun is retrograde, it appears to move “backwards” (east to west rather than west to east) across the sky.
According to the nation’s purple-haired aunties, and now a growing community of millennials, the hysteria surrounding Mercury Retrograde comes from the idea that the gravitational pull from the planet closest to the sun influences the water in our bodies in the same way that the moon controls the tides.
However, given the fact that this apparent reversal in Mercury’s orbit has been debunked as actually just an illusion to the people viewing it from Earth, Mercury Retrograde seems to be a little bit more of an excuse than anything.
However, if you want to get into it, Mercury is also a fast-moving inner planet, meaning that it affects your life on a noticeable day-to-day basis, which is why hundreds of thousands of local women have now let off a sigh of relief as Mercury retrograde comes to an end today.
Since Mercury is the planet of communication and thought process, its retrograde tends to cause problems in these departments, according to people who believe in the planets and stars and shit.
As for Mia, she is now responsible for her own actions. For now. Christmas is coming up and that time of the year is always hard.
