EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Married At First Sight Australia has been praised for their startling accurate insights into the typical Gold Coast man, after introducing three blokes that are so stereotypically GC ,they almost sound fictional.
Speaking to a scorned Gold Coast resident, Tahlia Mikkelson, 26, The Advocate learns more about this fascinating subculture of Australia.
“They’ve really outdone themselves this year”, says Tahlia, “Tim was an excellent find, just a sublime specimen”, says Tahlia, “being an entrepreneur is so quintessentially Gold Coast.
“Especially when you find out he’s made his money through crypto and dropshipping.”
“And he loves Columbia.”
“You know him and his dropkick mate are getting on the bags every weekend.”
Tahlia goes on further to explain that Gold Coast men tend to typically favour fashion trends that were popular in 2008, hence why we’re copping a lot of spray on pants and top knots.”
“Jack is also a fantastic find, almost like a Frankenstein’s monster that’s pieced together the worst the Gold Coast has to offer. He’s like a collage of awful fashion choices and personality traits.”
“The glaringly white veneers, rose hand tattoo, top knot and nipple ring”
“Comparing himself to Christian Grey and Tarzan who wants a submissive younger gym bunny he can ‘teach things’.”
“It’s just glorious.”
“As for Jayden the kickboxer, I’m hoping to be pleasantly surprised but who knows.”
When asked what the other types of Gold Coast womanisers are, Tahlia quickly runs us through the other three to avoid.
“Well there’s the juiced up, tattooed bald guys that have definitely knocked someone in the jaw outside of a nightclub and found themselves in the Queensland court”, explains
“Then you have the small-time rappers and DJs who likely live in a sharehouse with at least one drug dealer.”
“One or more of these types is likely to be ‘the new age man’, who believes in non monogamy and buddhism.”
“And of course, cashed up tradies.”
“The show could have really benefited from a Maori scaffolder.”
More to come.
