LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A Betoota man has experienced the most disappointing (and hopefully fleeting) of rare age sweet spots by waking up to a fresh pimple right on the edge of his receding hairline.
Still harbouring a bit of youth, Betoota green grocer Ian Palvic (34) finds the notion that he still gets pimples mildly interesting at best and an agonising curse with Biblical implications at worst.
Although the zits did make him feel young to a certain respect, that was before his front row of hair follicles decided to fade away like the end of a Beach Boys song.
And for the unfortunate, but statistically unique Palvic, he is currently in the prime of rare crossover of puberty and male pattern baldness, a rare minority with a 0% rate of satisfaction with their current circumstances.
“I mean, it’s kind of funny,” stated Palvic who has also said the same thing about Ricky Gervais’s career post-Extras so, you know, grain of salt.
“If I was 100% OK with being the undeniable butt of the joke I’m sure other people would find it funny too. They certainly don’t find it sad.”
“It’s not such a big deal. It’s just my head and the face I greet the world with that’s decaying with a seldom seen biological prank that has trembled the very heart of my confidence.”
Having left his phone on the table during the conversation, Pelvic has since been bombarded by targeted ads for both skin and hair treatments all of which he reported as hate and found as funny as a dog pawing at a grave post-funeral.
“I swear to fuck, if any of them try posting a witty comment to sell their prostate enlarging hair serum I am sending them puss in mail.”
