ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Despite repeatedly being told not to, a local man left his new towel on the bedroom floor again this morning.
It is a somewhat normal occurrence for Reece Doulton, a 32-year-old city worker from the French Quarter. Regular enough for him to shrug off questions from his fiancé centred around the functionality of his brain and dedication to keeping his promises to hang his towel up from now on.
But Reece fears he made have finally crossed a line.
“I got the usual text messages in the afternoon from my partner, Grace,” he said.
“You know, she’s asking me if I’m a fucking idiot. Asking me if I do it deliberately to annoy her. She asks me if I think she’s some sort of punk bitch I can repeatedly ignore and take for grant. You know, the regular stuff. Anyway, I just said I was sorry and that I’d get something for dinner on the way home but she told me not to worry, she’d already sorted it,”
“Now, I’m going to preface this by saying I am joking but when I got home last night, she served up a mushroom risotto for dinner. She’s never done a bloody risotto in her life. I asked her why she decided on cooking that, she just nonchalantly shrugged and said she felt like it. She had a craving, she said. Pretty weird but OK, you know.”
Reece then looked over each shoulder and leaned in.
“The worst part is, she told me she’d had a late lunch at the office and that she wouldn’t be joining me. It’s probably nothing but mate, a man has to wonder, doesn’t he? I went to see Barbie last week and, you know, pursed my lips and did some pensive smiles at all the right times. If you’ve seen it, you know what I mean. Did the vacuuming and watered the plants. I even hung the washing out when Grace said she needed me to do it,” he said.
“It’s probably nothing but you know, she was pretty cross about the towel and then she serves up mushroom risotto just out of the blue. I’m just saying it’s pretty weird.”
More to come.
