ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
“I just don’t need the stress of having him around, you know?”
“The last thing I need is to wake up in the morning and see what I did after I blacked out. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good bloke, he just films everything we do on the piss and tonight, I just want to relax.”
Tyler Dollarhyde finds it funny to wait until 10 or 11 the morning after a big session before he starts posting photos and videos to the group chat of the night before.
Themes include friends with their dicks out, people doing Class-A banned substances, breaking both themselves and the property of strangers.
The list goes on.
Which is why last night, he was consciously not told that there was going to be a kick-on.
The South Betoota Polytechnic students took special care in organising the off-license grog so Tyler wouldn’t know about it.
Then, like they’d time-travelled back to 1993, the remaining boys in the group chat phoned around to make sure they all knew to head to Joey’s place for the kick-ons.
“And with that, we all said goodbye as they were locking up the Club and Tyler got in a cab and went home,” said one friend, who asked to remain anonymous.
“The rest of us then piled into the back of Mark’s* silver Commodore wagon and drove home slowly through the backstreets,”
“By by Christ, once we got back to Joey’s, all of us felt a sense of freedom that’s rarely matched by modern standards. We could do anything we wanted to do without fear of it being filmed and laughed at later on.”
This morning, each of them woke with reduced-levels of post-piss anxiety.
Some of the lowest levels each of them had felt in years.
As for what the future holds for young Tyler, his friends are still up in the air about it.
“We’ve thought about taking his phone and hiding it from him at the start of the night. Then we could watch him run around the house in a panic, ask to borrow our phone to call the cab company. That would be funny but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
More to come.
*Name changed to protect against handcuffs.
