STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT
THE SMUSH ROOM: A well-meaning millennial has taken it upon herself to educate Gen Z on the true origins of ‘brain rot’, claiming that the viral TikToks they endlessly scroll are mere child’s play compared to the TV shows her generation grew up on.
Jess O’Connor (34) recently found herself in a heated discussion with her younger colleagues after they complained about their so-called ‘rotting brains’ from too much TikTok. “These kids think they’re on the cutting edge of mindless content”, Jess scoffed, flipping through memories of a time when MTV was king. “They have no idea what real brain rot looks like.”
Jess quickly launched into a full-blown TED Talk, schooling the room on the golden era of shows like Next, where contestants were judged within three seconds on a bus; Pimp My Ride, where Xzibit slapped 75-inch plasma TVs and surround sound subwoofer into beat-up sedans; A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila, which was essentially the Hunger Games of dating shows; and, of course, Jersey Shore, where society collectively lost brain cells in sync with Snooki’s drinking and over-the-top tangled Quiff.
“You kids don’t know chaos until you’ve seen a man cry tears of joy because his 2002 Corolla now has a fish tank in the backseat”, she insisted, nostalgic tears welling up in her eyes.
Gen Z remains unconvinced, but Jess continues her crusade, one MTV binge-watch at a time.
More to come.
