LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A local mum proved just how out of touch she is with today’s youth by denying her son a second Gatorade during weekend sport.
Invented by Americans so they wouldn’t die while their weird footy while wearing a suit of armour in a swamp, Gatorade is a flavoured drink that is meant to provide more hydration than water.
A friend to hungover people the world over, Gatorade bills itself as the ultimate drink for athletes despite the fact actual athletes never have to pay for it, in a sense making Gatorade the Gucci of isotonic sports drinks.
To any mum however, the above paragraphs about Gatorade might as well read ‘sugar, sugar and more sugar’ which is why Betoota mum Lea Rogers doesn’t feel good about her son Aidan having one Gatorade, let alone two.
“But mum, I need the second one for the warm down,” explained Aidan in an act of desired consumer response that would make a brand manager cry.
“I’m sorry Aidan but I don’t get why you even need the one Gatorade to begin with,” replied Rogers.
“I cut you all orange slices and you haven’t even touched them.”
“You know what we used to have at netball instead of Gatorade? Water. Am I the only one who remembers water?”
Aidan then asked if they could visit his jersey sponsor via drive thru on the way home, a question the young fella is unaware pushed his mother ever closer to a lifetime of anti corporate radicalisation.
MORE TO COME.
