ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A quiet Friday morning at the Betoota Heights Business Park was shattered today when a 34-year-old sales manager rolled into the office with a 44-gallon drum repurposed as a drink bottle, decisively ending months of hydration one-upmanship among his colleagues.
Greg Megger-Colin, an employee at Active Edge, a company supplying sporting equipment to schools and clubs, stunned coworkers as he rolled the industrial-sized container through the office. Complete with a spout attachment and a crudely printed “Water” label, the oversized water vessel is believed to hold over 200 litres.
What began as a few employees upgrading from regular drink bottles to oversized jugs had escalated into an unspoken contest. Greg, however, has now pushed the office game to absurd new heights.
“I thought I was making a statement with my 3-litre insulated bottle,” admitted Emma Jones from the marketing department, shaking her head as she eyed Greg’s setup.
“But Greg’s taken this way too far. Who even needs that much water? It’s just… uncomfortable to watch.”
Greg, unfazed by the backlash, defended his choice.
“They had hundreds of these down by the airport. This one had JET A1 down the side of it. I rinsed it out a few times and away we go. Bit of poly pipe in the top and I’v got a drink bottle that all the office chicks envy.”
HR has reportedly stepped in after complaints that the drum blocked access to the kitchenette and posed a tripping hazard.
Meanwhile, Greg remains defiant, sipping loudly through a hose and claiming,
“Yummo,” he said.
More to come.
