New Streaming Service Just Every Show And Movie You’ve Previously Given Up On

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

As predicted, one of the least anticipated trends of 2024 is the abundance of streaming services that has forced viewers to closely manage their paid subscriptions or worse, start reading instead.

More predictably, a new streaming service has entered the thunderdome with a point of difference that isn’t simply ‘we own the rights to one show you watch to completion twice a year.’

Promising something different, new streaming service SOUSE conveniently features all of the TV shows and movies that you got halfway through and gave up on because you were on a plane, had something come up or you just couldn’t be arsed finishing.

“Using the data that was cheap and available to us, we can see how many people get halfway through a show before cracking the shits,” stated SOUSE CEO Alex Gil, aware he is sitting on a potential gold mine and not the physical gold mine his family owns in Africa.

“We’ve remembered all the TV shows and movies you stopped watching and even have handy fact sheets to help you get through the quiz your annoying co-worker will give you once you finally finish that crap they recommended to you.”

From a purely objective point of view, it is the opinion of The Advocate that SOUSE will fast become the leading streaming service and that anyone who does not have it will never find out what happens at the end of their half-watched series, nor will they ever have sex again. #ad