ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A patient at Royal Betoota Base Hospital has embraced the uniquely regional experience of entrusting his life to a surgical resident who still gets ID’d at the Thirsty Camel down on Green Street.
Bill Leong, a 73-year-old semi retired French Quarter restauranter, was admitted this week for a planned gall bladder removal. He has now been informed that his upcoming surgery will be performed primarily by a surgical resident who only recently qualified to legally cut someone open and play with their insides.
The resident in question is 25-year-old human mechanic Trent Chan. Clutching a MacBook decorated with a Broncos sticker, a Notre Dame University crest, and a faded XXXX Gold decal, Chan assured Leong that the visiting consultant will step in if it gets tricky or he makes a mistake.
“It’s all part of the regional hospital experience,” explained Chan with a boyish grin that inspired no confidence.
“This is a pretty routine procedure, I think. We’re lucky the consultant’s gonna be here to look over my shoulder, actually. He’s usually in Quilpie. You just don’t get this kind of hands-on learning in the city.”
Hospital staff noted that the senior consultant would likely pop in for the “high-stakes moments” and leave the opening and closing to the resident.
“It’s how it works out here,” said a nurse, who asked to remain anonymous.
“You’ve got to learn somewhere. And it’s sure as shit not the private hospital over the road.”
Leong, resigned to the situation, seemed to take it in stride.
“Oh well,” he said.
“At least it’s not a colonoscopy. I’d hate for someone to learn how to do one on me, that’s for sure. He seems like a good bloke, I hope he doesn’t butcher me. I mean, they don’t call this place the Betoota Abattoirs for no reason, do they?”
With the procedure set for later this week, Chan is reportedly preparing by reviewing notes, visualising shooting the defective gall bladder for 3-points into the human chook bin from the other side of the operating theatre, and considering what to post on Instagram after the operation.
More to come.
