EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A local bloke has this week been forced to pull the parachute on a one night stand, after stumbling upon something in her apartment that was so distressing, he couldn’t stay a moment longer.
Looking shaken as he recounted last night’s activities to our reporter, Trevor Nayman, 34, says he’d genuinely thought the woman in question, Katrina, was a ‘cool chick’ – but that this little discovery quickly had him changing his opinion.
“It’d been a perfect night”, said Trevor, his expression pained as he mentally relayed the order of events, “we met in the smokers area at Shiftys, and instantly clicked.”
“End up staying out until midnight, which you know, is pretty late when you’re 34.”
“Went back to hers for a drink, and, well you know, did what consenting adults do.”
“It was amazing.”
“But then…”
“But then…”
Trevor takes a moment.
“I got up for a piss and walked past her TV cabinet and she had this DVD collection, which yeah, is pretty weird in 2023 but some people like to have physical copies of things.”
“And right on top, freshly opened, was a copy of Scrubs.”
Our reporter looks at him, confused.
“SEASON NINE, Effie.”
“I knew then and there, we had no future.”
More to come.
