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In an unexpected twist that has left sommeliers weeping, Passion Pop – a drink best known for its extreme carbonation and suspect flavor profile – has made a triumphant return to the millennial palate.
The fizzy, fruity beverage that was a staple amongst teenagers throughout the 00’s and 10’s, is experiencing a glorious renaissance as the current cost of living crisis pushes financially beleaguered millennials to forsake craft beer and organic wine for the nostalgic and affordable drink.
“Why spend $25 on an organic wine, when you can get a bottle of Passion Pop for less than a quarter the price?” Explained Emma Brookes (34), a local millennial Passion Pop revert.
“They say smell and taste are connected to nostalgia the most in the brain right? I get that, when I sip passion pop straight out of the bottle it teleports me back to a local park in my home town”
The return of Passion Pop is not just a case of nostalgic indulgence, it’s a desperate cry for help.
With inflation turning the grocery aisle into a scene from The Hunger Games and rents skyrocketing across the nation, millennials are finding not only solace in Passion pop, but also an affordable way to escape the realities of the cost of living crisis.
“We used to drink it to get drunk without spending all of our pocket money” Said Emma.
“Now we drink it to save our pocket money and also to drown our sorrows”
Recognizing a golden marketing opportunity, Passion Pop has leaned into some tendencies of their new millennial customers by introducing a buy now pay later system.
“We’ve noticed a huge uptick in millennials buying our product, we know they love debt so we thought we’d try our luck at the short term loan game.” Said one spokesperson for the company.
“It’s working extremely well”
