ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local father has turned to his school-age son and sneered this afternoon after watching a screaming, speeding fire truck careen through the grid-like streets of Betoota Heights.
Damien Goink, a professional kangaroo harvester and hunting guide, made the observation shortly after picking his son up from cricket camp around lunch today.
As the 34-year-old made his way down Mulholland Drive, he made way for a fire truck as rain drops began to splat on the windsheild.
“It’s bloody raining,” he said to his boy.
“What the bloody hell could be on fire now? They’re probably off the Pizza Hut for lunch, the cheeky bastards. No, they’re OK. If anyone should be allowed to put the siren on to get their deep dish meat lovers, it’s the firemen.”
His son nodded along.
“I guess ambos, too. You know they’re not out to get you. You can tell them anything and they won’t dob on you, with in reason. Like, if you’ve had a gut-full of drugs and grog, you can just tell them and they’ll be like, ‘Cheers mate, thanks for telling me, now I won’t jam you up to the gills with narcotics, which would’ve done you in if you hadn’t told me so cheers, you big dumb smackie’, and they’ll just cart you off to hospital no worries,”
“Cops put the siren on to head to McDonalds. They’re common as your common rock pigeon at the golden arches. Not that it’s a bad thing, they’re OK, too, but you can’t be telling them secrets of your debauchery like you can a paramedic. Don’t speak to the police unless you absolutely have to. But you know, when you need them you’re glad they exist. Some of them are pretty light hearted, like that one, remember the time when we got breath tested and the copper asked me if I’d had anything to drink and it was like 7am, so I told him I washed my weet bix down with a bottle of scotch and he just laughed. That’s a good copper. Not like that one who tased your Uncle Mike at the cricket and gave him heart arrhythmia, all for nothing.”
His son nodded again and looked out the window, wondering if he’ll ever come back to Betoota once he’s grown up.
More to come.
