CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A long-awaited morning of intense cardio has taken place in Betoota Heights today, as one husky local dad, Tony ‘Tiny’ Ashgrove, got cracking on the backyard.
Today’s task, which has been spoken about non-stop for the last week, required a little bit more elbow grease than usual.
“That bamboo the neighbour planted is everywhere” said Tiny, as he applied sun screen and began fiddling with the radio on the back patio.
“It’s jumped the bloody fence and started to spread into your mother’s petunias”
“If we let it keep growing it’ll cause some serious curry for our pipes. I don’t need another reason to hate that bloke”
With a wide-brim cane hat and a 35-year-old work shirt, Tiny gets stuck in.
For three hours he’s hacking and carting wheelbarrows non stop. Not one minute’s rest, and not one mouthful of water, until it’s done.
And when it’s done the radio comes off.
Now, it’s clear to everyone on both sides of the fence that Tiny has taken great liberties here.
It looks like he wants the neighbour to burr up, judging by how much he’s hacked off from this makeshift privacy wall.
But today will not be the day, because Tiny is now covered in sweat and ready to call it.
He kicks off his boots and wanders into the house, still puffing from the strenuous work. He makes a beeline for the fridge and grabs himself one individual can of mid-strength beer. From there, he slowly makes his way to the floor and lies down flat.
Even in the age of air-conditioning, the Queensland dad is yet to find a better way to cool down than by lying on the kitchen tiles while covered in sweat.
Or better yet, shirtless.
However, with a bit of a chill in the air, Tiny is opting to marinate in the fruits of his labour. He rests the can upright on his chest and slurps it in between sentences
His rambling conversation about how he’ll need to do this all over again in a few months thanks to that drip of a neighbour’s decision to introduce and invasive flowering plant into the local ecosystem eventually fades.
Please wake him up for lunch.
