LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In a continuing deep dive into things that we accept that are actually subpar, it is time for us to examine our favourite biscuits, which as Australians, makes up 90% of what our major news websites report on.
Although many people are keen to sledge Orange Slices or the plain ones you have to spread butter onto, it needs to be acknowledged that if you baked some Ginger Nuts in food tech class you probably wouldn’t get a passing mark.
The number one selling biscuit in New Zealand, because of course it is, ginger nuts are a hard ginger-spiced biscuit as well as a funny nickname for a red head on his bucks do.
Regional differences aside, ginger nuts are on the more savoury end of biscuits and are so hard they require a cup of tea to consume comfortably, something that a food tech teacher would only say to let you down gently.
“If your kid baked you these you’d say something to them like ‘well good on you for having a go mate’,” stated doctor of biscuits at the Betoota Biscuit Centre of Excellence, Dr Ranthony Grislock.
“I might lose my job over this but I don’t think a good biscuit demands a cup of tea, I think they should be able to stand up on their own. Sure, a biscuit goes nice with tea but-”
Dr Grislock was unable to finish his statement as not long after he criticised the biscuit, a group of men in long sleeve white shirts and block bowties appeared, grabbed him by the arms and pulled him screaming from the lab.
“It’s the truth! Print the truth! Print the truth!”
MORE TO COME.
