LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In a recent report by smarttraveller.com.au Australians staying in hotels are advised it is best not to think about what all the other tens of thousands of hotel guests have done with the detachable hotel showerhead.
Before AirBnb, people used to stay in hotels, which are like AirBnbs but without ruining coastal Australia and always having someone on-hand who is paid to fix the potential fuck ups.
Often viewed as a sexy adjacent destination, the demure yet sanitary appearance of hotel rooms can lead guests to do some pretty raunchy things, especially considering someone else is responsible for cleaning up.
While these echoes of past eroticism can be a real mood booster for sexual beings in a devious mood, official government travel advice suggests you should make no effort to picture all the various crevices, cracks and folds the hotel showerhead has known intimately over its life.
“There is simply no one alive who would want to know the full history of their hotel showerhead,” claims the report’s author Dr Reece Caroma.
“If such a person does indeed exist then they need to be added to a watchlist immediately along with those childless people who watch Bluey.”
According to the findings of the report, 100% of people who pictured just a fraction of the history of the showerhead in their room went on to regret it, with four in five people stating it was impossible for them to feel entirely clean afterwards.
“Two out of five also said they themselves went on to do something unspeakable with their showerhead. We didn’t collect any qualitative data about what they did specifically but we can only assume it was something perverted, antisocial and wrong.”
More to come.
