ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
In a move that has sent shockwaves through Australia’s regional skies, REX Airlines’ liquidators have axed two iconic in-flight perks.
Gone is the complimentary esky of cold cans often left up the front of their beloved Saab 340s – and the once-standard offering of a smoke after the in-flight meal.
This brutal cost-cutting measure comes as REX struggles to navigate its financial crisis after entering voluntary administration, leaving its loyal passengers feeling like they’ve been grounded from the glory days of lawless, country-style air travel.
Once the airline of choice for those who enjoyed the simple pleasures of lighting up a dart mid-flight and cracking open a freezing can before takeoff, REX is now in danger of becoming just another airline like the soulless and weird Virgin or the mean-spirited Qantas.
“I was on a REX flight just last week, and when the stewardess walked past without handing me the coldest Boag’s can from the bottom of the esky. I’m used to asking for a smoke and watching her roll it for me in the aisle,” said long-time REX flyer, Opal O’Hara, a Betoota Heights fertiliser salesman.
“I had to roll my own durrie and drink my own scotch straight from the bottle like some tramp sleeping under the Indooroopilly Bridge!”
Even the airline’s liquidators are feeling the heat from disgruntled passengers.
“Look, we understand that these in-flight amenities were a big part of the REX experience, but the reality is that REX is in a tight spot,” said a spokesperson for the liquidators, desperately trying to justify the decision.
“We had to make tough calls, and unfortunately, free smokes and eskies of beers don’t keep the lights on. We hope the passengers understand that the future of REX is at stake. We might even have to sell of Max Hazelton’s stamp collection at this rate,”
“But you can continue to book with REX no worries. We’ve got finance from some bank in Asia and the Government so hook in. You can still fly Melbourne to Sydney but you gotta stop for an hour or so in Wagga. If you want REX to still be around flying trunk routes, please get behind us.”
More to come.
