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In an apparent bid to capitalise on the looming warm-weather body panic, a gym in Betoota Heights is offering its patrons the chance to showcase their ability to grunt as loudly as possible, followed by an aggressive weight drop that reverberates across the entire gym floor.
But unlike traditional weightlifting events, this one isn’t judged on how much you can lift – it’s all about the volume of your grunt and the intensity of your weight drop. The idea came to gym owner Goran Markovic after he noticed blokes were doing it anyway.
“We noticed an uptick in grunting, and honestly, it’s become a bit of an art form,” explained Goran, who admitted he personally found the weight-dropping noise somewhat therapeutic. “It’s all about intensity and intimidation – perfect for getting the gains and keeping people at least five metres away from your squat rack.”
Early favourites include regular gym-goer Damo Williams, a scaffolder with biceps bigger than most people’s torsos. His efforts last week reportedly left the entire gym vibrating for a solid five minutes, earning him top contender status.
“He’s really set the bar with that one,” said fellow member Nick, who has allegedly been practising in the free weights section by forcefully dropping dumbbells while giving his best Hulk Hogan impression.
As for the prize, Goran confirmed that the winner will receive a year’s worth of protein powder and the ultimate bragging rights – just in time for beach season.
When asked if his grunting technique was the key to his recent gains, Damo simply said “No comment”.
