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In what experts are calling a definitive sign of aging, 29 year old Sydney girl Grace Thompson has declared the 9pm fireworks display “good enough” this New Year’s Eve, officially confirming her transition into old age.
“Honestly, they were just as good as the midnight ones,” Grace lied to herself as she shuffled towards the exit with a folding chair under one arm.
“Plus, now I can be in bed before the real chaos starts.”
Sources close to Grace reveal that the once-vibrant partygoer, who spent her early twenties vowing never to become “one of those boring people,” is planning to spend the entire 10 minute display nodding approvingly while muttering phrases like “Oh, that’s a nice one” and “Perfect weather for it.”
While younger spectators eagerly gear up for midnight marking the beginning of a long night of drinking, Grace is reportedly more concerned with “beating the rush” and avoiding what she called “the nightmare” of public transport at 12:05am.
“It’s just so practical,” Grace explained, completely unaware she was digging her own social grave.
“Why would I waste two more hours waiting around when I’ve already seen the big ones?”
Experts say Grace’s acceptance of the 9pm fireworks is an irreversible milestone.
Next year, she’s expected to skip the event altogether, opting instead to watch a live stream while sipping tea and complaining about the council’s budget priorities.
