LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Teenagers have been told to brace themselves for a bumper tax increase, especially those who just gave a $50 to a tradie who said he’d buy them a carton.
Members of one such tax bracket are a group of Betoota Ponds youths who accidently paid the piper, or rather paid the plumber, after they trusted the high-vissed stranger to buy a slab for them at the local bottleo.
After having no luck at Northside Cellars, who proudly sell to underage shoppers with a convincing enough fake ID, the group of would-be underage drinkers made a Cera-Hillian pilgrimage to the local liquor superstore, Tipple Tyrants, a chain outlet that price cuts so well bottleos like Northside were forced to bring in their ‘sometimes selling to underage’ rule.
Although Betoota Ponds Tipple Tyrants boasts an airport sized car park that is full of would-be law breakers who wouldn’t mind doing a bit of contract shopping, what the teens failed to realise is that this outlet also features a rear exit which is exactly where The Advocate found the bad samaritan getting away with a pineapple in his pocket.
“What did I do wrong?” stated the tradie, who would usually remain anonymous but in this economy needs the business (Peter Jonesend Plumbing – 0425 889 884).
“I didn’t steal anything, they gave the money to me. They wanted me to buy a slab and I did.”
“I haven’t broken a single law which includes the law about providing alcohol to minors. I am an educator and what just happened was a lesson in stranger danger, underage drinking and making risky investments.”
“Now outta my way, the Masked Singer is on and I’m pretty sure the Toilet Roll was in The Screaming Jets.”
At the time of writing, the taxed teens are still waiting in the carpark, hoping Jonesend is simply just taking his time choosing the perfect case of beer and wondering if they should have just given him a debit card instead.
MORE TO COME.
