ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The owners of an empty Airbnb in Lake Betoota are sure to enjoy some bill shock next quarter after a local homeowner took it upon himself to borrow a bit of power.
Sitting in the living room of his modest two-bedroom blonde brick home, Lake Betoota commuting professional Mohan Davis is considering whether he should put a jumper on or turn the air conditioning up a bit. For the past few weeks, his neighbour’s property has been used and abused by men on bucks parties, men on golf trips and other assorted infidels hell bent on making as much noise as possible.
In between these bookings, Davis as thrown an extension cord over the fence. He unplugs their hot water system and runs a cord over the fence to his own air conditioning system. Then he goes inside, turns off all economy modes, and sets it to 18.
Davis sees this as a form of payment for all the mental and physical anguish his neighbours put him through every weekend.
“Fuck these people,” he told this masthead.
The Advocate joined him inside the home, where our reporters breath could seen hanging in the air.
“Some cocksucker from Betoota Heights owns it. He comes up here once a month or so to mow the lawns and do whatever. But every fucking weekend, you’ve got blokes coming out here from the city on bucks trips. They’re up all night doing cocaine and listening to Johnny Cash. Smoking cigarettes all night right beside my open window. Yelling and carrying on. One night, I got so sick of it, I went into the kitchen and got a full can of chickpeas, went out on my back deck and threw it at one of them. I nailed him, too. Full fucken can a chickpea [sic]!”
“So I thought, fuck them. I ran an extension cord over so at least during the week, I’m cool as a cucumber all the time. I leave it running all day and all night. Even when I’m not here,”
“I’ve tried to speak to the owner about the groups and he just shrugged and said buy some ear plugs. He’s lucky he didn’t get a fucken can a chickpea to the dome, too, the cunt. So after that, I got a cheap space heater from Big W and I plugged that fucken thing in outside and set it to full. All day, all night. I’ve leave a tap on but I’m not a cunt. Water is more valuable than this shit stain of a human ever will be.”
“God, it just sends me wild each time I think of it.”
More to come.
