ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | CONTACT
WHAT’S THE POINT? It has been rumoured that 2024 awards season hunk Pedro Pascal will not be attending the Oscars this weekend.
It’s undeniable that Pascal has had an absolutely stellar run of sexiness this awards season. From a blossoming bromance during Keiran Culkin’s Emmys acceptance speech, to poor injured baby with his arm in a sling at The Golden Globes, to sexy pirate admitting he’s “a little drunk” at the SAG Awards – Pedro has absolutely nailed it for the lustful ladies this year so far. And the pot of gold at the end of this horny Chilean rainbow has always been the anticipation of seeing what adorable yet sexy antics he’ll get up to next.
“He just got such range”, one such Toey Mum from Betoota’s French Quarter told The Advocate, asking to be kept anonymous and also if she could please turn the air-con on. “Like I want him to be my friend, I want him to be my dad, and I want him to be my daddy, all in one. It’s a lot.”
However the Toey Mum (TM) community was rocked today when it was rumoured that Pedro will not be attending this year’s Academy Awards.
“What’s the point of tuning in?” the TM exclaimed, “like, the Oscars are a drag at the best of times, especially since The Slap they’re all on their best boring behaviour, AND it’s on telly smack bang in the middle of a Monday… so Pedro was pretty much the only reason to switch it on”.
“What am I going to perv at now? Bradley Cooper? Please. Cillian Murphy? I mean sure, if I’m feeling quirky. But Pedro… seeing him walk that red carpet like he owns it, seeing him in his cheeky audience cut-aways during the ceremony, seeing him in his…..” she trailed off.
It was at this moment the TM excused herself. It is unknown where she went or if she is currently adequately hydrated.
