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Austalia’s own Frank Abignale Jnr is currently galavanting around the European continent on a Contiki tour masquerading as a 24-year-old university student – when in reality, his a 36-year-old Betoota Heights web designer.
The tour started on Monday in London.
The Advocate can reveal that Elliot Pouchthroat made the decision to tell his travelling companions that he was a lot younger than what he was because he didn’t want to be seen as being too old for the popular rite-of-passage.
“Look me in the eye and tell me that you’d want to go on Contiki with a 36-year-old single tech worker from the middle of the Simpson Desert,” he told our reporter via Skype.
“Just let me live, you cunts. This might be the last time I can do something like this, something completely reckless like drop everything, quit your job and travel the world,”
“And by the world, I mean Europe. Anyway, fuck you, you fucking piece of shit hack journalist fuck heads. Publish this if you want, I’m out.”
The pale Leo then closed the chat window and blocked The Advocate’s official Skype account.
But it wasn’t until our reporter got in touch with one of Mr Pouchthroat’s bus mates that the extent of his fraud became apparent – or lack thereof.
Though he’s gone to great length to say just how young he is, nobody on the bus has been fooled by the ruse.
“Going through passport control, we all laugh at each other’s shitty pictures in the line. Elliot chucked us his passport and it said the cunt was born in like the 1980s. We had a laugh after but it’s not like we give a shit,”
“I reckon he even remembers the Berlin Wall coming down! [laughs] Nah, he’s a good bloke. Bit weird but I guess everyone gets a little weird when they’re still living a directionless existence at 36,”
“Anyway, next stop if Paris and the tour leader says we should tape phonebooks to our torsos because the knife crime here is out of control apparently. Enough to make a Glaswegian homesick they reckon.”
More to come.
