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In an audacious move, local upper-middle-class art couple Sebastian and Miranda Ashcroft have bestowed upon their newborn twins the profoundly Shakespearean names of Ophelia and Cassio.
The Ashcrofts, who met at an immersive performance art piece titled The Tempest: Reimagined, say they’ve always dreamed of naming their offspring after literary figures to reflect their shared love of the arts.
“We wanted names that not only sound sophisticated but also remind people we own a full set of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, bound in leather,” explained Miranda, a part-time ceramicist and full-time wearer of statement linen.
Sebastian, a self-described “Soundscape Curator ” who refuses to use Spotify because “it compresses the sound”, added that the names also needed to align with their children’s future enrolment at the prestigious Rudolf Steiner school nearby.
“We considered Hamlet and Desdemona, but the vibes were too tragic,” he said. “So we settled on Ophelia because it’s poetic, and Cassio because he’s misunderstood, like me.”
Friends of the couple report that the Ashcrofts had been workshopping baby names since the second trimester, floating options like Prospero, Titania, and a wildcard choice, Banquo. However, the pair finally decided to “stick to the classics.”
“When people hear Ophelia, they’ll know she’s destined to become a painter, or maybe a harpist. Cassio? Definitely future theatre director energy. It’s about legacy,” Miranda said.
The couple has already begun curating the twins’ childhood experiences to reflect their highbrow upbringing, reportedly decorating the nursery with a hand-painted mural of the Globe Theatre.
