ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | CONTACT
TALE AS OLD AS TIME: In an event that has shocked absolutely no one, least of all the Betoota Heights High graduating class of 2010, it is reported that local woman Carly (not her real name) has finally transitioned from high school ‘pick me girl’ to millennial boy mum.
It’s an evolution that many a pick-me has succumbed to.
The social media term was coined circa 2006 loosely after that incredible Grey’s Anatomy monologue which refers to a person who acts against the interests of their own marginalised cohort, in hopes of gaining validation from the establishment.
In layman’s terms, it’s when a girl throws other girls under the girl bus so that (gross) boys will (gross) notice her and think she’s (gross) cool.
It is reported that Carly spent her high school years doing just that, much to the chagrin of her friends and fellow students.
“For example”, one old classmate told The Advocate, requesting to be anonymous, “you couldn’t tell Carly if you liked a boy, cos she would just go straight up to him and tell him and then they’d laugh at you together, you know? Stuff like that. Not a girl’s girl”.
The ironically-used term ‘boy mum’ has only been in circulation in recent years via social media platform TikTok, and describes a mother who only wants to parent sons (a fact usually in no way hidden from their daughters), and makes it their entire identity.
“And so now” another victimised classmate informed The Advocate, “Carly has a kid and it’s a boy, so that’s the route she’s taken.”
When asked to extrapolate on this, the classmate said “oh you know, like she’s always posting on facebook that her son is the light of her life, he’s going to be so handsome, she is dreading the day he eventually moves out of home cos it will be like going through a break up, she takes to social media to talk to the hypothetical future girlfriends of her son (he’s 3) telling them they’ll never be good enough for her boy …”
“It’s a transition we all saw coming, and it’s nice to see Carly take her final form. I just feel really bad for the poor person who ends up dating her son when he’s older. They’ve got some competition! … His mum. The competition is his mum”.
