ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
“Do you not remember what happened in 1941?” asked the 21-year-old.
“A little thing called Pearl Harbour – followed by four years of brutal, island-to-island jungle-to-jungle conflict that claimed the lives of thousands of Allied troops,”
“And you bring that beer here? What about the diggers? What’s wrong with a good Australian beer like Tooheys or the old Victor Bravo? Why you buying that shit?”
Alistair Huntley loves this country.
Every Australian should in their own way – but young Alistair often declares his allegiance to the flag when he and his mates are super munted.
It’s a source of unbridled scatness to some friends, they don’t want to talk about patriotism when they’re barely able to hold a conversation while they resist the urge to hug the person they’re talking to and telling them that they love them for being them – and only them.
However, something that the jingoistic Virgo cannot resist is his love of beer-centric protectionism.
This morning around 10, Alistair called a kick-on back at his Betoota Heights sharehouse (without even broaching the subject on the house group chat first) and made sure everyone visited the bottle-o down the road before it ran out of piss.
Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this morning, Gregor Redpath said he bought the carton of ‘delicious’ Japanese lager because he likes the taste of it – and the packaging is pretty neat to boot.
He told us that he and his friends were on cloud nine, enjoying the last of the warm mornings of autumn in the company of good mates. Half-cut and not a care in the world between them. The day could only be ruined by someone saying that these days were the best of their lives.
Mercifully, nobody did and they made the journey from the bottle-o down the road up to Alistair’s charmingly unrenovated terrace on the Pencey Prep School Road.
“We think Alistair had a bit of an episode,” he said.
“He said something about me drinking Asahi was an affront to the ANZACs or something. We all kind of laughed but Ali had that fucking Sean Bean look of disgust on his face, looking me up and down,”
“The whole situation kind of fizzled out and we all got on with the day. I’m pretty sure he taxed me a few because he was hosting us. Weird guy, man. Like Paul Keating weird.”
More to come.
