EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A woman who thought she managed to dodge a hangover after spending several hours on the piss last night, is blissfully unaware she is still shamefully pissed, and that her body plans to betray her by early afternoon.

Happily bouncing into work this morning, Claire Phllips, 27, was overheard telling her work bestie that she was feeling weirdly good, despite smashing through two bottles of prosecco, an espresso martini, and an ill advised wet pussy shot.

“I only had three hours of sleep but I feel fine?”, bragged Claire, naively thinking her body had somehow developed the ability to absorb a terrifying amount of alcohol without any repercussions, “I didn’t end up getting to sleep until 5am hahaha.”

“I could honestly go for a run.”

Unbeknownst to poor Claire, a wave of intense nausea plans on hitting her like a freight train at roughly 2pm, sending her running to the toilet as her body expels from both ends.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s because I was just drinking clear alcohol?”

“Maybe that’s the secret.”

More to come.

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