EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
To put things mildly, local besties Ava and Kelsey have what’s called, ‘no filter’ – which is an ability to be completely and utterly shameless at all times, but especially startling once they’ve ordered a bottle of wine to share (which they of course agreed to split mere moments after crying poor).
Despite having had a lot of very crude and intimate conversations in various public establishments, this might be the first time their hookup discussions have earned themselves a rather rapt audience member – a fifty something bloke named Steve, who is absolutely hanging on to every single word with utter glee.
Seated across from them at a table on his own, the older gentlemen was seen staring at them without blinking, and letting out the occasional breathy chuckle.
“Oh if they don’t #*^% my #*%^, I DON’T WANT IT”, squeals Ava, the more shameless of the pair, “BYE! NEXT!”
“No, no I get it! I feel the exact same about %$&* upside down in my #$%&”, cackles Kelsey, “like with Spanish boy last week. I $&*# in his *%&*# and he didn’t return the favour?”
“I feel like texting him though. It’s the wine, I think. It’s like…slut juice.”
“Yesss! White wine does something to me”, says Ava, laughing, before randomly breaking out into song “GIVE ME THREE MARGARITAS.”
“IMMA PUT IT IN MY *#$%!!”
More to come.
