ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
An Argentinian national has learned the hard way that studying on this desert continent of ours is not all it’s cracked up to be.
Carlos Malvinas, of the Patagonian city of Comodoro Rivadavia, is currently studying a Diploma of Hospitality Logistics Management at the Diamantina College of Culinary Design and Practice (DCCDP). He tells The Advocate that he’s yet to even open a textbook, let alone buy one.
“All I’ve done regarding my studies is hire an e-bike, get a Yuppie Chode account, and worked 12 hours a day delivering food to overweight people who live in the inner city of Betoota,” he said.
“I haven’t been to a lecture, I haven’t been to a class. I don’t even have my course framework. They had it all online when I applied, and it looked like a good course. Betoota looked like a nice place with a strong community, so I took the plunge and enrolled.”
“I’ve enrolled in classes via the DCCDP portal, but there’s no timetable. The staff say it’s coming, but it’s been three months. I’ve already paid 40,000 Australian pesos for it. I don’t know what to do.”
Carlos went on to say he delivered breakfast this morning to a worker that he assumed was working from home today. The concept of having breakfast delivered caused Carlos to pause.
He picked the breakfast up from a local cafe; it was a ‘Full Aussie’ complete with two fried eggs, toast, bacon, tomato, avocado, hash browns, baked beans, and a jumbo full cream flat white.
The sight of the ‘creature’ that greeted him at the front doors of the apartment block will stay with Carlos, he says, for many years to come.
“He was a young, fat man in his pajamas,” he said.
“It was 10 a.m. He had a little dog under his arm, and he was upset that I hadn’t come in and delivered the food to the door. He had no shoes on. You could see his stomach peeping out from under his t-shirt. It was like coming face to face with a dragon.”
“He took it and said it better not be cold and got back in the lift. Then I got a message from Yuppie Chode that I need to work on my interactions with customers and they held payment for that delivery.”
“What is this place, man?”
More to come.
