KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
As the fireworks, flares and the sounds of street bikes erupt across Western Sydney, it can be confirmed that Penrith is the greatest place in the world to be right now.
The party is only just beginning in the suburban paradise,m as locals celebrate the impressive performance of yet another grand final victory.
Reports are coming in that Penrith halfback Nathan Clearly has been spotted flanked with an extra special security guard, top UFC heavyweight fighter Tai ‘Bam Bam’ Tuivasa and fellow light heavyweight Tyson Pedro.
With every Penrith local dying to capture a quick selfie with the halfback from heaven, The Advocate reports that Bam Bam has come to the aid of the Prince of Penrith to ensure he reaches safe passage to kick ons.
“Nafe, stick wit me… I’m not gunna lose ya bruz,” Bam Bam whispered into Cleary’s ear as he used his frying pan sized hands to part the crowd like Moses crossing the Red Sea.
“Romey ndat already have a table at Flower Shop, we’ve got the whole place booked, stick wit me Nafe we’ll be eetswa!”
Ducking and weaving through the Penrith faithful, witnesses say Nathan Cleary’s game day jersey is already the first victim of the night, having been torn off his body by a pack of hungry fans.
“Don’t worry bred we’re going shirtless” demanded Bam Bam, protecting Cleary as if he’s an American President trying to board Air Force One during a siege.
As deranged fans pop out out nowhere, Tyson Pedro is quick to take potential assailants with his famous leg sweeps.
“Move Nafe, we’re missin the fun. Lets ogays” says Pedro.
