KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Shivering in terror and scared for his life, a Fox Sports intern is supposedly bracing himself for the most feared job in entry-level sports journalism, the awakening of Buzz Rothfield.
After spending the summer on a three-month unpaid internship, it’s believed young sports tragic Keon Van-Hull (23) has been given one final task to complete before being offered a part-time role in the Murdoch sports empire.
Armed with Dolphin LED Torch and a spray bottle of holy water to protect himself, young Keon has been told to take the lift down to the deepest, darkest basement level of Fox Sports’ Atarmon office, and gently awaken the sleeping ‘Grand Master Vampire’.
Famous for his ability to label every non-story in the NRL “A crisis of our game” and dig through the bins of several Leagues Clubs to find the “breaking news” of accounting errors, Master Rothfield is reported to be licking his lips at the opportunity to once again suck the life out of the NRL season.
Speaking to The Advocate, the young journo told our reporter that he was looking forward to a future working at Fox Sports, providing he can survive the incursion unscathed.
“With the NRL back it sure is a big week, they’ve told me it’s a rite of passage that the intern has to go down to the crypts and wake up Buzz” said Mr Van-Hull.
“The boss said if I can come back in one piece they’ll give me a full-time job on NRL 360, and they’ll even let me mop up the floors after Hooper and Blocker dribble all over the desk.”
Asked about what strategy he plans to use to awaken a sleeping Buzz, Keon told The Advocate he was gifted an unlocked mobile phone by his TV superiors.
“The higher ups have given me some Tigers players’s iPhone, which has some pretty red hot texts about the coaching staff.”
“So I’ll dangle that over his nose and surely Buzz will wake up faster than you can say ‘The coach has lost the dressing room’… I hope that’s enough for him anyway”
More to come.
