ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Melbourne man has today contemplated a taking gap year in Noosa after learning what the punishment is for losing an AFL tipping competition.
Buckley Seddon, of Yarraville, came last by a long margin. According to his friends, he often put loyalty and emotion above common sense. All seasons, one friend tells The Advocate, the 28-year-old Port Phillip Ferry deckhand would tip teams like his beloved Bulldogs, second team Kangaroos and other underdogs such as the Gold Coast, Eagles and Dockers. That resulted young Buckley finishing at the bottom of the table.
For the past few years, the punishment for coming last has been to wear a medium-size Collingwood guernsey. The medium size was chosen because most of Buckley’s friends in the tipping comp get rather husky over winter and wearing an undersized guernsey adds to the humiliation.
Mysteriously, it went missing at the tail end of last season so the boys put their heads together and came up with something much, much worse.
This afternoon local time, Buckley discovered that his punishment for this season would be to wear a bright red Swans puffer vest to every match he and his mates go and watch.
He spoke very briefly to The Advocate outside our Melbourne bureau, which is shared with the Mildura tourism office in the city’s Chinatown.
“Fuuuuuck,” he said.
“Not the cuck vest. I’m going to have to run away. I might have to move to Noosa. I can’t be seen wearing that, especially around home. I would get heckled so hard. That is the ultimate shame garment. Who the fuck would buy that anyway. I can’t wear it,”
“I’d rather go in Collingwood bodypaint than a Swans puffer jacket. Seriously. I’d probably rather go nude. The boys are losing it in the chat. They reckon it’s so funny and I’m pretending like it’s no big deal. Fuck’s sake.”
More to come.
