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“He’s just embarrassed us, mate” says local ex-government vehicle sales rep, Donnie Caster (53)
“Again”
As a man that will never forgive his Premier for forcing him to spend his 50th birthday locked down as a result of some of the strictest public health measures in the world – Donnie finds it hard to talk about anything else except his hatred of Dan Andrews, and his hatred for the millions of his fellow Victorians that decided to re-elect the cold-hearted communists dictator in 2022.
“He’s got plenty of money to spend on building inner-city injection rooms and trips to China… But noooo a week of riveting second tier international sporting contests is too much?”
“Something doesn’t add up”
This borderline sovereign citizen’s most recent rant follows the Victorian government’s decision to pull out of hosting the 2026 Commonwealth Games.
Premier Daniel Andrews announced the decision yesterday morning, saying the cost of hosting had blown out by billions since the government last year made its bid to host the dregs of the British Empire in a 12-day exhibition that will never compare to actually hosting the Olympics.
However, as an untouchable Labor leader, whose only political opponents seem to be an absolutely broken Liberal Party plagued by conspiracist fundamental Christians – Dan Andrews’ decision to scrap the Commonwealth games has managed to upset a whole range of people who would traditionally not really be too interested in watching Canada win track and field events because Jamaica hasn’t even sent their best athletes.
“He’s humiliated us on the world stage” says the militant anti-Dan crusader, Donald – who is carrying on like the Premier has cancelled a visit from King Charles.
“It’s a disgrace”
“But yeah, he’s made sure to announce he’s still going ahead with building all of the planned facilities. So at least he’s kept his mates in the unions happy”
“So we get all of these stadiums for regional sport and housing for regional families… But we don’t get to watch the raw gladiatorial competition between Britain’s 72 remaining sovereign nations”
“He needs to go to prison”
