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A local papou living roughly 15 km south-east of Melbourne’s central business district, in the suburb of Oakleigh, has shocked his extended family tonight by his adamant claims that Socceroos captain Tim Cahill is of Southern European background.

This comes after the Sydney-Born Samoan-Australia footballing superstar was brought on for his last five minutes of last night’s match, before doing his victory lap.

In Oakleigh, Victoria – a prominent Greek household is now struggling with their patriarch’s insistence that the man of the match is one of their own.

The suburb of Oakleigh is traditionally known to have a strong Greek cultural influence, largely due to the influx of said immigrants to Australia in the mid-20th century. Fourteen per cent of those living in the suburb speak only Greek at home – and the area is responsible for a large number of Australian representative soccer players.

However, for 82-year-old Spero Bartzis, it seems anyone who is good at soccer is not only from Greek background, but also from Oakleigh.

“I’m telling you mate” he says.

“I know his family. He’s Greek”

“No skippy plays like that”

“Samoan? pfffft. He Greek”

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