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In shocking news for NRL fans who once had a grandfather who lived in Balmain before it was gentrified to hell by graphic designers and kids with allergies, it seems that the Inner-Sydney footballing institution of Leichhardt Oval may no longer be hosting three games a year.

This comes as the Inner West Council, which controls Leichhardt Oval, informs the Wests Tigers that the ground will be closed to professional sport in two years due to the growing OH&S issues that tend to arise when you’ve only won one trophy in 50 years.

A discussion around providing funding to modernise the stadium arose during last year’s NSW state election. However, a subsequent budget but never realised – after state Parliament did the maths and came to the conclusion that the Wests Tigers are simply far too shit to justify that kind of wreckless spending.

However, the the Wests Tigers board, which is split directly down the middle by two factions representing long-distinct foundation clubs, who have never gotten along, and are really only still playing in the competitiion because of Benji Marshall’s 2005 flick pass, are now growing concerned that unless funding is secured – the stadium may be no more.

Meanwhile, the philanthropic one-and-off club sponsor MERITON have primed the board to offer them first dibs if the venue was to be discontinued.

Any combination of the three levels of government, the NRL, the Wests Tigers and private investment needs to come to the table – a coalition of warring bodies that agree on nothing but the fact that this club might want to win a few fucking games before they start demanding $40 million dollars to renovate a stadium that gets used three times a year.

Elsewhere in Sydney, debates rage over how the harbourside location of Leichhardt Oval would be the perfect place to build 600 short-term and long-term luxury Meriton apartments.

The location’s suitable distance from the flight path, and historically corrupt local council, would make the venue perfect for 600 Meriton Apartments.

It is not yet certain if the club is honestly considering the plan to turn Leichhardt Oval into 600 Meriton apartments, but 600 Meriton apartments could result in more club memberships than the football that gets played there.

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