CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
It’s NRL finals time! Which means the sidelines and TV news updates are currently being inundated by ex players and current players offering insights and predictions over the sudden death stages of the 2024 season.
With near losses turning into Mad Mondays, and club awards nights turning into grand final tilts – there’s a lot to discuss.
With only one team from north of the border making it through to the grand final, last weekend’s match between the Knights and the Cowboys saw every single local pundit descend upon Townsville to offer their unique Queensland analysis.
Furthermore, the clubs that have already exited the competition have been left twiddling their thumbs in a premature off-seasons, this means rugby league podcasts and radio shows are now flushed with talent, as the Queensland players are now bored enough to let someone interview them for an hour.
This means that fans of the game are now being overwhelmed by the harsh sounds of Queensland gravel.
A uniquely Maroon sound, weathered Queensland footballers are known for putting their vocal chords to the test in media interviews – with voice boxes that produce something that could be described as a mix of white noise and crushed stone.
But who has the most gravel of them all? See below for top 7 most gravelly voices in Queensland rugby league, according to The Betoota Advocate’s official gravelometer.
1 COOPER CRONK – Garden gravel
The former Storm and Roosters star hasn’t spent much time in Queensland since he was a teenager, this is likely why his gravel is considered the most subtle in Australian sports media.
2 JONATHAN THURSTON – Showgrounds gravel
JT’s gravel is most evident in between bursts of Kookaburra laughter. Also rather pronounced after a big night out (Vegas Round day 2)
3 BRENT TATE – TAFE car park gravel
Pure North Queensland gravel. The type you can hear under your foot while running late to sign up for a confined spaces ticket.
4 BRAD THORN – Outskirts of country town AM radio gravel
The Kiwi influence makes this gravel sound a bit sandier. Almost like you’re hearing a Christian pastor deliver a sermon on an obscure rural AM radio station that is starting to fade into static.
5 BILLY MOORE – Industrial gravel
This man’s gravel is the type your hear being shovelled at a worksite. Or being spread across several hectares of dirt at a makeshift industrial site.
6 – BEN HUNT – Pub car park gravel
The type of gravel that cuts your ribs when engaging in some alcohol-fuelled violence outside an enormous Queensland sports tavern. A very crunchy gravel
7 DARREN LOCKYER – Straight out of the quarry
This kind of gravel is the purest, and harshest of them all. A truckload of freshly quarried gravel hitting potholes on the Bruce Highway at 130kmph.
