IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact
As excitement for summer cricket continues, Parramatta father Chris Richards has honed his preparation, taking 7 wickets in a “frightening” spell yesterday.
“They were coming out perfectly,” the 36 year old said between celebratory beers.
“Warnie always said one brings two… In this case I went further,” he said.
The full-time landscaper took the wickets of his three kids (aged 5, 8 & 13) as well as his wife (32) and two kids from down the street (ages unknown).
Richards claimed the scalps in just four overs on his 16 meter backyard pitch aided by generous electric wickie rules and the controversial one-hand-one-bounce law.
However, video has emerged of Richards allegedly tampering with the ball with what seems like red electrical tape.
“The tape was already on the ball before we started playing. That’s well within the rules,” he said.
Neighbours described his spell as “frightening and intense” but added numerous dismissals were through the six-and-out by-law.
In addition to his economical and wicket-to-wicket line-and-length bowling style, Richards also used an impressive array of sledges and other psychological tactics to get under the skin of the opposition team.
His daughter Kayla explains.
“Dad would dip one in short and I’d have to dive out-of-the-way,” she said.
“Every time I tried to dodge the short balls, he’d call me a soft cock, which doesn’t make any sense to me,”
Despite the criticism levelled against him, Richards has lashed out at his detractors.
“You don’t hear Johno (Mitchell Johnson) whinge about how he takes ’em” the one-time 3rd grader said.
“I’m already growing the mo’ so I can steam in with him when The Ashes start.”
“I played it smart. Me boy Jacob (aged 8 ) Is a pretty timid kid. I knew after knocking over Darcy (aged 5) with a full toss that he would be pretty nervous at the crease. I banged the first one in short to get him backing away. He was a frightened rabbit after that. All I had to do was put the next one on the stumps. Seven balls later I had his wicket.”
With additional reporting from the Parramatta Advertiser.
Best one yet boys, keep it up
This is absolute artistry. Gimme a job gentleman.
Not with that spelling, Sam Sewell
A literal masterpiece. 10/10