WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Fuck that was good, wasn’t it?
Better than good.
Maybe even on the level of lego.
If you aren’t a cricket fan and live in an internet, TV and radio blackspot but are some how reading our newspaper, Australia has won the first Ashes test.
Not only did they win it, but they won it in the most glorious fashion you could ever win an Ashes test match in.
18 years on from the heartbreak at Edgbaston, Australian somehow managed to score the 281 runs required, hitting the winning runs with just 2 wickets in hand.
After another strong knock from Usman Khawaja, captain Pat Cummins and Gary the Goat managed to steer the Australian team home in one of the most euphoric victories ever.
The incredible knock from Captain Cummings has reportedly silenced any boomers who have the never to sledge him about ‘CaPtAin PLaNeT,’ with the cricketer who actually has a personality allowed to pursue any social or environmental cause he wants.
The incredible victory also comes as strong vindication to a horde of Australian cricket fans who are operating off the back of a couple of hours sleep.
“Yeah, that’s about as good as it gets,” said one local man who watched the winning runs at 4:30am in the morning.
“Fuck Bazball,” explained the man whose nation actually hit more sixes and hit roughly the same amount of fours as the English.
“Good on them for declaring with two wickets in hand in the first innings, that was a genius tactical play.
More to come.
