WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
In the most exciting news for the Boomers since franking credits were created, Australian basketball superstar Ben Simmons has today reportedly split up with his girlfriend Kendall Jenner.
The news comes as the Boomers (the Australian national basketball team) announced their training camp squad for the FIBA World Cup in a couple of months time, and Simmons committed to the green and gold.
On top of the commitment to Australia, the NBA Rookie of The Year and All-Star has finally found a way to break free from the ‘Kardashian Curse.’
The Kardashian Curse has been officially recognised as a hex, that once placed upon men, spells disaster for their short, and potentially long-term career.
The Curse can be invoked by engaging in a relationship with any member of the Kardashian family and has struck down several iconic sports stars, such as Lamar Odom, Rashad Mcants, Kris Humphries, Kevin Durant, D’Angelo Russel, Jordan Clarkson and several NFL stars.
Simmons had been dating Kendall Jenner, the highest paid model in the world and member of America’s Royal Family, much to the shock of the sporting fraternity who were concerned his career may end prematurely as a result.
“This is incredible,” explained local investment property enthusiast Bob Hammersmith-Wilson (78) about the news of the breakup.
“Best news since they invented a tax loophole where people too well off to need the pension could claim cash refunds for a tax they effectively didn’t pay,” said the Boomer.
“It’s fantastic that we’ve now got a shot at coming second.”
“Hopefully now Ben’s dumped Kylie? Kendall? Whichever one it was, he’ll be able to hit a 3 pointer.”
