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A bloke of Māori background is being forced to listen to his white Australian coworker’s review of his home country’s traditional war cry before their unsuccessful world cup match against England over the weekend.
“Man, that haka was so good” says Darryl, a undeservedly confident goofball from accounts.
“Were you watching Jamie?” he asks his Maori coworker, who he knows very well is the only other person in his office that would have seen it.
“Yeah mate” says Jamie.
“Pretty good hey. Shame we lost to an overfunded European nation about ten times the size of New Zealand”
The haka, which is traditional combat challenge in Māori culture, is a posture dance performed by a group, with vigorous movements and stamping of the feet with rhythmically shouted accompaniment.
The Haka is considered quite sacred to the greater Kiwi diaspora, however it is also well-known for hyping up white office guys, who love talking about how cool it is, and sharing videos of different hakas on Facebook.
“It’s just so majestic. Especially the bit where they pointed like this” says, while mimicking the Kiwi captain.
“Or the bit when they were like ‘heeeiggh!’ – man I wish Australia did a haka”
“Golly it was powerful. Gives me the chills”
