KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT‘
A local man enjoyed a porcelain ponder this morning, hypothesizing about just how rich his mate’s parents are.
After a long day on the turps, The Advocate understands 24-year-old plant mechanic Liam McKenna woke up hungover, after sleeping in the guest bedroom of his recently acquired friend and fellow cricket teammate, Ben Gidley.
Upon sighting a high stack of luxury 3 Ply toilet paper, Mr McKenna’s long held suspicions that Mr Gidley comes from money was all but confirmed.
“I always had a hunch that Ben and his family were rich, but now I know for sure,’ said Mr McKenna.
“It was that super soft and silky 3 ply stuff that gave it away, it even had those little sea shells embossed on it.”
“It’s the kinda bog roll you only find in the rich suburbs in town, it’s nice to use for a change if I’m honest.”
When asked by The Advocate about his previously held suspicions that his new found sporting friend came from generational wealth, Mr McKenna offered a number of telling insights.
“Ben’s not the type to gloat about it, but I’m pretty sure he mentioned something about a beach house in Noosa the other day.”
“Also apparently his Dad bought him a Golf GTi for his 21st, so that kinda spells it out.”
“And I don’t think he had to pay Uni, he’s never talked about HECs before so I think his parents spotted him that bill too.”
Taking an extended time on the toilet to steady himself before the incoming awkward small talk with Mr Gidley’s parents, Mr McKenna is believed to have thoroughly enjoyed the 3 ply experience.
“God it’s just so soft on ya bum hey. It even has some kinda fragrance built into it!”
“I got in a bit of a tight situation last week and ended up using some paper towel at my house.”
“Guess this is just how the other half live…”
