ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
One programme was once considered the highwater mark of broadcast journalism and the other has always been considered the low one.
But as of this morning, the tides have met in the middle. The Bismark of broadcast journalism has finally succumbed to the torpedos of progress.
“If only Kerry was alive to see this,” they laughed.
“He’d be turning so violently in his grave, you’d be able to hear the thumping from the 9th green at Ellerston!”
Network Nine’s content director spoke briefly to The Advocate this morning via telephone where they announced a plan to merge 60 Minutes with A Current Affair as the two programmes have both reached a point where it’s impossible to tell them apart.
“When you see what 60 Minutes is now to what it was, I mean, we don’t have a choice. We purchased Fairfax last year, we need to cut some costs to get that rubber band-powered aeroplane off the ground,” they said.
“For example, look at what we did last night. Absolutely disgusting, don’t you think? I mean. It’s absolutely disgusting for 60 Minutes but for A Current Affair, that was actually pretty good. It’s not as good as broadcasting footage of some, can I say this word? A bogan hosing one of our reporters. Fuck my childhood Shetland! Nothing makes me laugh after than seeing that happen!”
“So it just made sense to merge the two. So next week on the show, I’ll give your imbred [sic] smalltown newspaper an exclusive here. Tracey Grimshaw and Karl are going to be tapped to a bench facing one another and we’re just going to broadcast 42 minutes of them head-butting each other. If one of them dies before the 42 minutes is up, the rest of the time is going to be filled up with Charles Wooley dancing in his yellow Y-front Rios to ‘Birmingham Blues‘ By Electric Light Orchestra,”
“So there you go.”
More to come.
