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A local hi-vis watering hole in Betoota’s light industrial Flight Path District looks like the type of place you could find yourself in a bit of argy bargey. If that’s what you were after.

If the British backpackers working as topless waitresses on Friday afternoons weren’t a good enough sign, the complimentary room temperature spring rolls in the VIP pokie room should almost confirm the fact that this venue is frequented by volatile tradesmen who love to throw hands.

But it’s the 200-inch outdoor flat screen TV that gives the best insight into how wild this beer garden can get after a few of the local road workers have a run in with the Kiwi concreters of a Friday afternoon.

A new study conducted by the Licensing Inquiries and Testing For Australian Management (LitFam) ombudsman has found that any pub broadcasts A Current Affair at full volume on a week night is the type of place where a bloke will accuse of looking at him even if you weren’t.

Lead researcher, Professor Cowell DePunch says the data confirms that pubs that broadcast the sensationalist news programme in a fully social setting are ironically far less concerned with binge drinking and young men behaving poorly than Tracy Grimshaw is.

“We are not yet able to identify the link between alcohol-fuelled violence and TV news stories about dodgy landlords and supermarkets who have too many signs in Chinese”

“Perhaps the violence is caused by the panicked energy that Ms Grimshaw emits while terrifying the Australian working class…”

“Perhaps it’s the fact that a pub who gives that little of a fuck about the ambience in their venue is the same type of pub that will serve a tatted up scaffolder thirteen OP Bundaberg rum an cokes in the space of two hours without even thinking”

“All we know is, if you Tracy Grimshaw in the beer garden, make sure you look after your mates”

MORE TO COME.

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