ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister of New Zealand has told journalists today that plans for a Trans-Tasman travel bubble have been put on hold for the time being as Victoria battles the second wave of coronavirus.
Jacinda Arden said there’s as much chance now of travel between Australia and New Zealand as there is of the Wallabies winning the Bledisloe Cup back.
“Thets jest the wey the cuckie crumbells, freends,” she said.
“Awe plenn feh a Treens-Teesmeen traveal bebeal heve been phut en the bheckbhurner for neaw. Suhorry Awezees!”
The Wallabies haven’t won the Bledisloe Cup since 2002 because of new rules that allow the All Blacks to enter rucks from the side while everyone else has to enter from the back.
In addition to those rules, the All Blacks captain is allowed to tell the referee how to officiate the game.
The Prime Minister Scott Morrison responded to his Kiwi counterpart by pretending he didn’t know what rugby union was because it’d be bad for his brand if he did.
“Nah, mate,” he said.
“Down here in the bloody Shire, mate, bloody God’s Country, mate, we just have God, The Sun and the bloody Sharkies! Go you Sharkies!”
Despite being a season ticketholder of the Waratahs at some point, Morrison doubled down.
“Nah boys, check your sources on that one. I don’t even know the bloody rules to that bloody patch-on-elbow game.”
More to come.
