CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The hype from Apple’s latest iPhone release has anything but died down in Betoota, with hordes of shoppers still lining up to get their mitts on one.
While you may conjure up an image of the type of person that’s waiting in line, in reality the demographic will shock you.
The Advocate can confirm that the second wave of iPhone owners is predominantly made up of 20-40 year old men of suspicially well-kept appearance, wearing Nike TN’s and Gucci bum bags.
To the untrained eye these men are on a Betoota Bonds TAFE excursion, however, what they really are is drug dealers.
It’s understood that the drug dealers are here to purchase the new iPhone Xs, specifically for its dual sim functionality. This new function will enable drug dealers to seamlessly switch between their business number and personal one – effectively making carrying around two phones a thing of the past.
Despite the obvious benefits for drug dealers, Apple has today released a press statement insisting that there are other professions that the function was intended for.
“Ummm builders could use it, taxi drivers, small business owners? Anyone, it’s a great new function and anyone is welcome to use it, have I said it’s for anyone?”
“And just for the record, Apple does not condone illegal drug use.”
“And yes we are aware that an iPhone screen makes for a good surface when snorting drugs. But that wasn’t planned either”
More to come.
