TRACEY BENDIGNER | Culture | Contact
A local girl has had her suspicions confirmed this evening after opening up the glasses cupboard in her fling’s kitchen and seeing a hodgepodge collection of stolen pub glasses.
“I knew in that moment that Jez wasn’t ready for a girlfriend” sighed Melanie Kryger (29).
Melanie had been eager to ask Jez where he saw their fling going, however the lack of matching glassware was a clear indication that he wasn’t ready to give up on his baching phase just yet.
“No mature man still has schooners as functioning glasses, I mean I’d get it if he was in a share house and 22”
“But he’s 31! A) he’s still stealing them or b) he stole them when he was younger and has taken them with him everywhere he’s moved”
“Either way, it’s not a good sign.” Said Melanie.
The Advocate reached out to Jez for comment and to see if Melanie’s schooner test is accurate.
“Haha yeah I love my pub glassware, I try steal some at every pub I go to”
“It’s cheaper than buying anything, plus matching glasses are for chicks”
Our reporter pushed for more information on Jez’s feelings towards Melanie.
“Oh yeah Mel’s a good bird, just a bit of fun hey”
“It’s not too serious though, summer’s coming and so I don’t want any baggage, you know.”
It appears that Melanie’s schooner test was completely accurate, Jez’s bachelor pad looks to remain that way for some time.
