LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A tentative look into Nan’s fridge to see if she has any chilled Lido has uncovered a bag of chocolate bullets that appear to have lasted longer than Australia’s previous seven Prime Ministers.
The chocolate coated licorice sticks with all the aesthetic quality of possum pooh and the taste sensation of cheap chocolate wrapped around aniseed, appear to have nestled in the back of Nan’s fridge sometime during the Keating era and wisely chose to stay back rather than face life outside.
While Australian Prime Ministers seem to change at a rate that is usually only reserved for AC/DC drummers, it is understood that a shelf in Nan’s fridge is a place untouched by time, vaguely resembling the house of representatives backbench, where expired goods remain for time eternal.
When confronted with the lollies that had a longer tenure than any non-dictator world leader, Nan was not embarrassed but actually seemed to be happy that you are finally getting round to eating them.
“Oh Pat gave them to me and I thought you might like them because you told me you like licorice once,” stated Nan.
“Pretty sure I told you about them at some point or another. You can have one if you’d like?”
A taste test confirmed the bullets were hard, bitter and inedible but that is yet to be attributed to the age of the confectionery or because Nan keeps that bad boy at the coldest possible setting.
