Barnaby Says Lets Not Get Political Because Half A Billion Dead Animals Probably Voted Greens

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

As the country burns and our Prime Minister mills about like a headless chook with no one to shake his hand, Australians can still count on one voice of reason to tell it like it is.

Barnaby Joyce, the former Deputy PM who thinks we should make peace with his pro-adultery version of God if we want to survive the crippling drought and bushfires that have become the new normal after 300 years of accelerated carbon emissions.

During this current spate of climate change aided bushfires, the human loss of life nears double figures while an estimated 500 million native animals have also died.

Early reports suggest one third of Australia’s koala population have perished.

Not many individuals can make peace with half a billion native animals being removed from the gene pool forever but former-deputy PM and notorious shagger Barnaby Joyce has given it a red-faced crack.

“We have to remember these koalas, as endangered as they are, probably would have been Greens voters if given the chance,” stated Joyce to a group of children, slurping his saliva as he dreamt of roast possum.

“So let’s not get political. They are clearly Lefties.. You know with the whole ‘tree hugger’ thing going on.”

“And don’t get me started on wombats. Those little stoners would be all over Di Natale if he was here right now. So perhaps it’s not such a bad thing they were cooked to perfection in their warrens.” 

According to Joyce, rights, and indeed, votes for animals is something he has always been against – stating that if his sheep were able to talk, they would probably ask to no longer be in the background of his unintentionally viral videos and would have a lot to say about Kiwi heritage.

MORE TO COME.